It's the NFL's world, we're just living in it

Switching sites

2007-07-05T06:30:00.000-07:00

I'm moving over to a new blog that will look much like the first, later this week I'll be posting pics of my badass vacation.

My Wish with Pacman

2007-06-28T23:53:00.000-07:00

One of these sick kids should choose Pacman for their My Wish segment. You know you'll end up seeing breasts, and you might even get to kill someone! That's way better than hitting a ball off a tee with Todd Helton!

ESPN When?

2007-06-28T22:35:00.001-07:00

I've been inundated with commercials with ESPN Now which is a measure of Q rating in between My Wish segments on Sportscenter which are straight from a telethon, leading me to the conclusion that we are fast approaching a day when ESPN doesn't televise sports, MTV doesn't play music, and Fox News doesn't report news.

Fantastic day for sports; Ainge is a moron

2007-06-28T22:13:00.000-07:00

I get in the same day Frank Thomas hits #500 and Biggio hits his 3000th, along with the NBA Draft? Sweet.

Danny Ainge is the most incompetent human being in sports. I can't believe he draws a salary for being like a 2nd guard off the bench for most of his career. He trades the #5 pick in the deepest draft ever, the very palatable contract of Delonte West, and the high 7 digits Szczerbiak is getting the next 3 years for a 32 year old jump shooting max contract? Are you kidding? It's not like they're playing for anything more than a six seed this year, it's better to dump Paul Pierce if he wants out than be saddled with two max contracts for a combined nine years. The funniest thing I've read about the deal is written by kurtangletn on boston.com: "What you guys aren't happy about throwing a year for Ray Allen? Whats the matter with you?"

I was okay with Nick Young at 16; I'm from the Ozzie Newsome school of taking the best player available, and the Wizards can let Stevenson and Hayes go and replace them with a guy who can play above the rim. Then they also have more money to resign Blatche. New Jersey took Sean Williams (kicked off the team for drugs) with the next pick, hearkening back to last year when they took Marcus Williams (suspended for stealing laptop computers). David Aldridge always says you can have one knucklehead, but when you have two it starts to be a group. Something to watch in New Jersey now that there's an opening in organized crime.

The second biggest trade was probably Portland dealing Zach Randolph to New York for Steve Francis and Channing Frye. Normally you would just assume that Isiah Thomas made a bad trade, but I can see both teams thinking here. Portland is declaring Oden the franchise player, and when Steve Francis's max contract comes off the book, Portland can make a splash in free agency while Oden is playing out his option. New York is adding a 25 year old 20 and 10 guy who's locked up for the next five years. Fair deal.

Something for while I'm gone

2007-06-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

afk

2007-06-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, I'll be in Hawaii/Boston for the next three weeks, so blog entries during that time will be few and far between. Rest assured that when I get back I'll continue to spit hot fire from my fingers.
Respect

My top 5 NBA point guards

2007-06-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

After a month of hearing NBA heads gush about Tony Parker and Deron Williams, like a month after Baron Davis was the best player in the first round, it's about time for me to drop my top 5 NBA point guards.

Steve Nash - great finisher and passer, best player on maybe the best team, 2 of the last 3 MVPs and finished 2nd this year.
Jason Kidd - had two triple doubles in the playoffs, giving him 10 in the postseason in his Hall of Fame career.
Baron Davis - I thought people would finally realize how good BD was after the upset over Dallas. Averaged 20 points, 8 assists, and 2 steals during the season.
Tony Parker - quicker than Billups, might average more points on a faster paced team.
Chaucey Billups - down three with 10 seconds left, outside of Kobe and Arenas I don't know if there's anyone else I'd rather have with the ball.

Should have sent a poet

2007-06-15T11:36:00.000-07:00

EW.com has Batman's new costume up. It's pretty badass. It sounds like the biggest change is increased mobility in the neck region so, for the first time in the history of Batman movies, Batman can look around! GASP! Also, the gloves are equipped with projectiles.

My one worry is that with all this armor, Batman is invincible except for some kind of gas attack. So will the plot of The Dark Knight be similar to Batman Begins and Batman (1989) in that the climax will take place during a chemical attack? I'll be lined up day one to find out.

The two biggest games from the NBA regular season

2007-06-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

If you look back on the 2006-07 NBA regular season with the playoffs in mind, two games determined the NBA finalists.

4/17/2007 Golden State 111, Dallas 82
In their next to last regular season game, the Mavericks rested all their starters since they clinched the number one seed. (Maurice Ager led Dallas with 20 points and 34 minutes) But Golden State seemed to match up well against Dallas, and if Dallas had beaten the Warriors they probably would have played the Clippers. If they beat the Clippers and the Jazz, they would have played the Spurs in the conference finals, who they beat 3-1 in the season series. So if Dallas beats Golden State on the next to last night of the regular season I think Dallas probably would have won the NBA title.

4/18/2007 New Jersey 106, Chicago 97
Because of the idiosyncrasies of the playoffs, if Chicago wins this game they are the two seed and Cleveland is the four seed. Cleveland had an easy ride to the conference finals playing the undermanned Wizards and underachieving Nets; Chicago beat the defending champion Miami Heat in the first round and lost to the one seed Detroit Pistons in the second. In this scenario I like Detroit's chances of coming out of the East because asking a young Cavaliers team to beat a savvy Heat team (Heat won season series 3-1) and a very physical Bulls squad (2-2) is unrealistic.

Did you know the NBA Finals were on last night?

2007-06-15T08:31:00.000-07:00

I didn't. At 3-0 the series was a foregone conclusion, the U.S. Open was on until 7 so I barely watched Sportscenter, and even with the 8 hours of sports talk radio that I listened to yesterday I was unaware that game 4 was last night. Winning their fourth title in nine years, I'd say the Spurs have a dynasty going. But I still think the salient story from the NBA Playoffs is that the playoffs are broken.

If this were the NFL there would be a myriad of changes in the offseason. Realignment, reseeding in the playoffs, the silly "Leaving the vicinity of the bench" rule, the lottery, and the dirty play of Bruce Bowen and the Spurs would be addressed. I accept the fact that you can't just combine the East and the West and put the 16 best teams in the playoffs - travel concerns, a lack of geographic rivalries, and unbalanced scheduling make that impossible. But, judging from David Stern's interview on the Dan Patrick Show yesterday, there's the very real possibility that next year's playoffs will be just as flawed as this year's playoffs. Maybe it's for the best; that's 20 or 30 less hours I have to spend watching basketball.

NFL is King Movie Review - Ghost Rider

2007-06-15T06:42:00.001-07:00

A couple of nights ago I watched Ghost Rider on DVD. The story behind it's production reminds me of a combination of Aquaman and Medellin from Entourage. Aquaman because it's a superhero movie and the casting decisions that generally entails (Nic Cage vs Johnny Depp, JLo vs Eva Mendes). Medellin because this is basically Cage's passion project: he was tabbed for the role in 2001 and he has a Ghost Rider tattoo that had to be concealed during filming.

The plot of the movie is basically Johnny Blaze (Cage) and Roxanne Simpson (Mendes) are teens who are going to leave home and elope, until Blaze makes a deal with the devil and leaves Simpson to become a professional daredevil. Nic Cage is over 10 years older than Eva Mendes. I actually had an easier time believing that Cage sold his soul to the devil than that he's the same age as Mendes. I can usually buy the superhero premise, but I simply could not suspend disbelief on this issue.

Fun popcorn flick, though. Extremely cheesy. I give it 5/10.

Evidence that XBox 360 has better graphics than PS3

2007-06-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

Some of you have asked me in the last year or so what system to buy and I've consistently said the XBox 360 has the brightest future, while sometimes musing on the Wii's possibilities. But I was convinced that the PS3 was a poor choice for this generation ever since I saw comparison shots on Gamespot.com for a series of multiplatform games in December, where Tiger Woods PGA 07 was the only game that looked better on the PS3. The seven other games compared looked better on the 360.

Gamespot posted another series of comparison shots yesterday. Armored Core 4 and Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion looked better on the PS3, with the caveat that Oblivion came out one year to the day later on PS3 than XBox 360 (which came out three years to the day after the start of the war in Iraq). The other five games examined all looked sharper on 360. So, discounting Oblivion, 12 out of 14 multiplatform games look better on XBox 360.

A pantsuit too expensive for Rosie O' Donnell

2007-06-14T07:10:00.000-07:00

Roy Pearson, a Washington, D.C. administrative law judge, is suing a dry cleaning company for $54 million because they lost a pair of pants. I can't get a decent job, but this gift to humanity has a six figure a year job? As someone who got his clothes cleaned exclusively by a Korean dry cleaners while at college, I definitely almost considered going to the page where they are accepting donations for the defendants defense fund. Tuesday, in a scene that made Paris Hilton look tougher than Mexican jerky by comparison, Pearson cried in court when he thought back to getting the wrong pants back from the cleaners. While taxpayers dollars are being used in this obviously frivolous suit, we can at least gain solace in the fact that this guy being a D.C. judge can be used as evidence to against our nation's capital desire to get a vote in Congress for the rest of time.

Mainstream?

2007-06-14T06:04:00.000-07:00

Tuesday on PTI, (the best sports show on television since NFL Primetime got cancelled because ESPN no longer carried Sunday Night Football) Wilbon and Kornheiser spotlighted Greg Oden's blog, and then mentioned Arenas's and Schilling's blog as two others athletes with blogs (those were the only three blogs that were mentioned). As visitors of this site may have noticed, those are among the blogs I endorse in the left column. Wilbon's take was that he was impressed with Oden; Kornheiser's take was that athletes can now talk to fans without intermediaries.

Athletes have had homepages for years, where they'd issue press releases or sell merchandise. Terrell Owens issued statements on his homepage on numerous occasions while sniping with McNabb, the Eagles, the 49ers, and the NFL. Right now the lead story on the page (the only story) is that you can buy his book for $23 (although when I went there it looked like they were sold out). The second lead story on Gilbert Arenas's blog is the release of the Halo 3 beta, which in my opinion is big news.

With Sportscenter and other sports shows getting further away from sports the same way MTV has gotten away from music videos, blogs have become my preferred method of getting sports news. ESPN has an agenda to promote their NBA and NFL broadcasts, so they're hesitant to cover stories like when Eddie Griffin crashed his SUV because he was driving drunk while beating off. A site like With Leather can blast an ad for Citizen without having to worry about burning any bridges with potential advertisers. So while I'm on vacation the next 3 weeks, check out some of the other blogs I've got listed, they're all great and influence this blog in some way.

Laser, rocket arm

2007-06-14T05:50:00.000-07:00

I went through the complete Youtube works of BradyFan83, and my favorite is Cash for my Soul, which is pretty damn funny.

Dogs in the Kennel

2007-06-13T13:24:00.000-07:00

Youtube heavy-hitter BradyFan83 has released a tearful ode to Michael Vick that certainly pulls on the heartstrings.

How to fix the NBA Playoffs

2007-06-13T12:17:00.000-07:00

Fixing the NBA is a tall order, but fixing the playoffs isn't. With ratings down 25% from last year and dropping each game, something has to be done to regenerate interest in the NBA Finals. The key thing that's missing is momentum. With only one game played last week Sunday to Saturday, it was easy to forget the NBA is on. I forgot to check the game after The Sopranos finale. Barring the break between series, there should be one day between games - no more, no less. And the de facto finals were of course played in the second round. Just taking the top 16 teams is too drastic a measure, but eliminating the divisions and just having two conferences, and reseeding each round, would insure that the best basketball would be played in the conference finals if not the NBA Finals. It's not as if division races or division rivalries generate any excitement. And in this scenario even if the finals are a mismatch, if the conference finals are compelling the NBA would have some momentum going into the Finals.

Dog rolls over on Vick

2007-06-13T05:58:00.000-07:00

Joseph "The leg humper" Escobar was indicted yesterday for peeing on a hydrant and will reportedly give testimony against Michael Vick. Apparently Vick offered him a chance to participate in dog fighting to clear some of his massive debts incurred gambling and from his massive drug habit.

As Escobar was getting dragged away from the hydrant in a choke chain he could be heard barking "Bitch set me up!" When pressed for comment, Vick apologist Len Pasquarelli said "A dog communicating verbally that Michael Vick participated in the dog fights is the only way I could be convinced that Vick had any idea that dog fighting was going on at his property, so I guess you got me."

Evidence found exonerating Vick!

2007-06-12T12:01:00.001-07:00

Here Michael Vick is playing poker with some dogs that clearly are in no shape to fight. Vick isn't even calling out the bulldog for keeping an ace up his paw. The collie is being called as a character witness, although I don't know if that's a good idea because it looks like Vick took all his money.

FronkenSTEEN!

2007-06-12T10:25:00.000-07:00

Every now and then I hear someone singing Will Ferrell's praises, I bite my lip. It's not that I find Farrell unfunny, but I just don't see him as the end all and be all of comedy. Nor Jim Carrey nor Jack Black. I think all these actors are hilarious, but none of them can match the comedic resume of Gene Wilder. I'll take The Producers, Young Frankenstein, (FronkenSTEEN!) Blazing Saddles, and Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory over Old School, Anchorman, Talladega Nights, and Elf anyday.

Gene Wilder's 74th birthday was yesterday; a belated happy birthday to our greatest living comedic actor.

Paging Dr. Rosenrosen

2007-06-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

Dawson's Creek alum Joshua Jackson has reportedly landed the role of Fletch in the next movie in the series, Fletch Won. At various points I've heard Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Zach Braff, John Cusack, and Matthew Perry as candidates. Kevin Smith was set to direct, but he's reportedly doing a horror movie with Jay and Silent Bob instead. At least, that's what imbd.com says. I think he's probably just going to smoke pot, play Fight Night, and show up occasionally on the Jimmy Kimmel like his clone Turtle from Entourage.

The Sopranos Finale

2007-06-12T05:48:00.000-07:00

At about 9:58 PM EST on Sunday millions of Americans grabbed their remotes, cursing their cable provider for the black screen they were staring at after seven seasons of The Sopranos. At some point thereafter, as people realized that Sopranos creator/writer/director David Chase intended to give the audience an ambiguous finale, most viewers seemed to feel let down by the lack of closure. But what were they expecting? At some point during The Sopranos run watching the show became less like watching a Brian De Palma movie (Scarface, The Untouchables) and more like watching a David Lynch movie (Twin Peaks, Blue Velvet). Maybe it was when the crew went to Italy, maybe it was when Janice shot Richie Aprile, maybe it was when Junior shot Tony, but at some point Tony and the crew softened. Nothing season six gave any indication that there was going to be the bloodbath that many wanted.

The death of Phil Leotardo (what a great last name! It's like he's an Italian retard) was pretty classic Sopranos; I flashed back to season one when Junior's crew dropped a guy off a bridge in front of a bunch of black guys. The victim sold drugs to the nephew of Junior's tailor. Someone in the crew gives one of the guys $100, asks what he saw, and the guy says something like "Some real tragic shit. Guy said he can't take it anymore." The beauty of those scenes were the reaction shots, and there were some classic reactions to Phil flattened head.

The final scene reminded me of the end of a movie that similarly intends to give the viewer a window into a morally corrupt group: Boogie Nights. Throughout Boogie Nights, Amber Waves (Julianne Moore) talks about getting out of the industry. But at the end, Amber is still a porn star even after all her friends have moved on. Throughout The Sopranos, Carmela, Meadow, and A.J. judge Tony and condemn his actions. At the end, Carmela is getting ice cream with Tony just like the did when she still had illusions of him not being a part of the mob. A.J. has given up on his quest to eliminate dependence on foreign oil and is driving a BMW that gets an SUV-like 23 MPG highway. And Meadow, no longer pursuing a career in medicine, is dating a mobster and will inevitably become a mob lawyer.

Whatever you think happened on the cut to black at the end, you probably looked at everyone that walked through the door as a potential assassin, and that was the idea. Tony's life is constantly at risk, for this is the life he chose. And it goes on and on, like the mediocre Journey song. At some point during the series, Bobby told Tony that he thought that everything fades to black if you get shot in the head, giving credence to the opinion that someone shot Tony in the head. That someone of course may be the menacing guy sitting at the end of the bar with the truckers hat, who is coincidentally Kevin Connolly's uncle (E from Entourage).

Of course, if Tony dies that limits the appeal of a potential Sopranos movie. But after six seasons and whatever potential hiatus, I question the box office appeal of a Sopranos movie. A Deadwood film (or series of films) has been anticipated for some time, but Deadwood only lasted three seasons, and getting Ian McShane to become Al Swearengen will be a significantly cheaper investment that getting James Gandolfini to revisit the world of Tony Soprano.

Ichiro hates Cleveland

2007-06-11T12:46:00.000-07:00

Great quote from Ichiro regarding the overrated city of Cleveland, which really isn't rated that highly so I guess I'll just call it a shithole. "To tell the truth, I’m not excited to go to Cleveland, but we have to," Ichiro said through an interpreter. "If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying."

Great quote, but is it the best quote by Ichiro this year? Regarding his matchup with Daisuke Matsuzaka, Ichiro said "I hope he arouses the fire that's dormant in the innermost recesses of my soul. I plan to face him with the zeal of a challenger."

I can't wait until his next quote. It's sure to make Confucious look like a moron.

Punch Out: The Movie

2007-06-11T12:05:00.000-07:00

In the latest video game to movie adaptation, Punch Out! will be brought to the big screen. Here's a trailer.

Is Matt Millen's one good pick going to jail?

2007-06-11T11:46:00.000-07:00

Detroit Lions defensive tackle Shaun Rogers is being investigated for sex crimes by Detroit police. He is accused of threatening a stripper with a gun then molesting her. This is definitely a case to follow: Shaun Rogers is an elite defensive lineman, and in my non-expert opinion this sounds like a case of he-and-his-lawyer-said she-said, and if no ruling is made would Goodell suspend Rogers?

Mismatch

2007-06-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

A recurring theme on ESPN Radio, Sportscenter, TNT pre- and post-game, and any other outlets that are broadcasting the NBA Finals is effusive praise for Tim Duncan. Now Duncan is a great player, in the discussion for the greatest power forward, a top 50 player all time, and soon to be a four-time champion. But if you could have either Shaq or Duncan for a career, of course you take Shaq. It isn't even close. I can't believe that the ESPN/TNT heads keep directly or indirectly bringing up that comparison. The dominant low post scorer of the modern era versus a guy who does the little things. Center versus power forward. Above the rim versus below the rim. A natural 300 lb versus a natural 240 lb. You don't have to break down the film like Jaworski in the NFL films vault to figure that out.

Hibachi to go?

2007-06-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

Wizards superstar Gilbert Arenas is planning to opt out of his contract at the end of this coming season, which you may have read if you made it to page E4 of the Washington Post sports section. Although I did find it surprising that the Post didn't consider this a major story, (it remains on the front page on ESPN.com) neither myself nor Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld found the story surprising. He stands to make more money in a cinch max contract than on his current deal, which of course is less than the max.

The Wizards can offer more money per year of a longer period of time than any other team, so the Wizards would have to be considered the favorite to sign him next year. His first time a free agent he decided between similar contracts offered by the Wizards and Los Angeles Clippers; his former team, the Warriors, couldn't come close to matching the eight figure yearly salaries offered by the other two suitors. The legend goes Arenas flipped a coin ten times to decide which team to sign with, it came up seven times on the Clippers side, so he signed with the Wizards just to go the other way. So although this indicates Arenas likes to go against the grain, it's not like he ignored financial considerations.

One approach that many teams seem to take is vastly overpaying for a free agent. Cleveland's signing of Larry Hughes to a 5 year, $70 million deal seemed to have more to do with showing Lebron that they're committed to winning that Hughes' worth. Grunfeld has shown discretion when it comes to deals above the exception, but the Wizards' moves this offseason should be scrutinized a little more, because they will be by Arenas.

Shawskank Redemption

2007-06-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

Prison guards thought they had found a 50 foot tunnel to freedom in Paris Hilton's cell. It turns out that was just her vagina.

Salute!

2007-06-11T06:01:00.000-07:00

When The Sopranos debuted back in 1999, it was unlike anything else on television. Other shows featured sex, violence, and adult storylines, but The Sopranos had a slickness to it that made it feel more cutting edge. Shows like NYPD Blue and LA Law preceded The Sopranos, but the both had a pervasive Bochco-grittiness that served as a reminder that they went places Hill Street Blues had gone before. Since then shows like The Shield, Deadwood, and 24 have arrived with morally ambiguous characters, ultraviolence, and a healthy helping of nudity, and suddenly The Sopranos doesn't feel as fresh anymore.

So does that make The Sopranos the greatest drama of all time? How about Hill Street Blues, for its groundbreaking adult content? Or my favorite, The Shield, for continuing to build on these templates? This is the same kind of problem you have comparing athletes across different eras: evolution. Current all time home run leader Hank Aaron played at 6'0" 180 lbs, the same height and weight listed for light hitting Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp. Twenty years ago there were only 27 players in the NFL weighing 300 lb or more. Now there are hundreds. Education about nutrition, weight training, and sports medicine has made athletes bigger, stronger, and faster, making it difficult to translate dodging tacklers or crushing homers 40 years to today.

I'm for progress. I get more enjoyment from watching Batman Begins than Citizen Kane, I've watched enough tape to be confident that Shaquille O'Neal would dominate Bill Russell or Wilt Chamberlain, and I watch syndicated episodes of Seinfeld while I've never seen and episode of All in the Family beginning to end. So for me the bloom has been off the rose for The Sopranos for some time. But its influence is unquestioned, and it's easy to forget what it once was.

Letter to Falcons season ticket holders

2007-06-08T13:59:00.000-07:00

June 8, 2007

To Our Season Ticket Holders:

This off-season has certainly presented a lot of challenges to us, and we realize it has been difficult for our fans. Therefore, we thought it would be helpful to let you know where we are as an organization.

Any time a player in our league – and especially a Falcons player – shows up in a negative light for any act, it is disappointing to us. While unsubstantiated to date, the current public situation concerning Michael Vick puts us in a particularly difficult spot because of the daily attention it is receiving in the media, and our inability to respond because we don't yet have all the facts with which to deal.

We hope you understand it would be inappropriate and premature to make any definitive statements or take any action until we know the facts. Therefore, we are awaiting the outcome of the investigation just as you are. For the benefit of our fans, the Falcons and Michael, we hope there will be a quick and clear resolution to this matter so we all can move forward.

In the meantime, we want you to realize there are many examples of our organization impacting our community in a very positive manner.

We have a large number of players on our football team who go above and beyond in giving back to our community. For example, this off-season Tight End Alge Crumpler was one of four NFL players who spent 12 days on a USO tour to U.S. military bases in Iraq and Afghanistan. Defensive Tackle Rod Coleman, through his foundation, gave metro Atlanta teenagers a head start on their adult careers by sending them to a Youth Business Camp. Linebacker Keith Brooking continued his efforts to serve foster children through a golf tournament fundraiser and an upcoming Tailgate Kick-Off fundraising event. Veteran Fullback, and first-year Falcon, Ovie Mughelli is in the process of adding Atlanta as a site for his Ovie Mughelli Project, which seeks to improve the quality of life for underprivileged children through summer football camps and educational programs. And, 2004 Walter Payton Man of the Year recipient, Running Back Warrick Dunn has touched the lives of 69 single parents and a collective 181 children, helping them to become first-time homeowners by making down payments on new fully-furnished homes. Finally, a good number of our players are participants throughout the year in activities funded by the Atlanta Falcons Youth Foundation, which to date has provided more than $10 million in grants to nonprofit organizations across the state of Georgia.

These are just a few examples of our community commitment. We cite these examples not in any way to diminish any concerns you might have right now, but to encourage you to keep a perspective on the collective efforts of our players and our club.

Be assured we are intensely focused on preparing for the 2007 season. We are very encouraged by Head Coach Bobby Petrino's efforts in putting together an exciting team and schemes to make us highly competitive on the field. There is no doubt that Bobby’s expectations for our team are clear with our players, and their dedication is evident in the mini-camps and other practices that have taken place to date. The attendance and dedication of our players – including Michael – this off-season has been outstanding. We fully expect that to translate to a very successful 2007 campaign.

Over the last five years, we have worked very hard to build a winning team and a respected franchise for our fans and the Atlanta community. You have responded in a positive manner, and we thank you for your support and loyalty. We respectfully ask for your understanding as we work through our current situation.

Sincerely,

Arthur Blank, Owner & CEO

Rich McKay, President & General Manager

This just in: The Spurs are boring

2007-06-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Anyone who tries to tell you that the Spurs aren't boring is a sadist. So they're a great team. So Duncan is a great player. Rocky & Bullwinkle are a great team. Robert De Niro s a great actor. The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle starring Robert De Niro is a horrible movie. Just because you don't want to watch it, it doesn't mean you don't appreciate great actors. And just because you don't enjoy watching Duncan hit a 12 foot bank shot, commit a foul at the other end, and pop the eyes halfway out of his head at the ref in protest, it doesn't mean you don't appreciate great basketball. Because this isn't it.

Paris back to jail, the long nightmare is over

2007-06-08T12:47:00.001-07:00

Denver adds more pounds

2007-06-08T10:30:00.000-07:00

The Broncos added their second defensive tackle this week, trading a 6th round pick to the Rams for underachieving Jimmy Kennedy. Kennedy had 15 starts his first three years. Kyle Boller, universally called a bust, was taken 7 picks later. After Dan Wilkinson was a no show for a physical after being traded to Denver, and Green Bay reached in the draft on defensive tackle Justin Harrell the pick before Denver, the Broncos had a gaping hole at starting defensive tackle next to Gerald Warren. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't see the Broncos in the playoffs this season.

Gado his shit together

2007-06-08T07:07:00.000-07:00

Houston Texans backup running back Samkon Gado has missed offseason training sessions to study for the MCATs. The Liberty University graduate is scheduled to take them July 13th in Columbia, South Carolina. After his career he hopes to become an orthopedic surgeon. As admirable as this is, it's hard not be jealous of someone who can put "retired NFL player" on one line of his resume and "orthopedic surgeon" on the next. Former Olympic speed skating champion and current orthopedic surgeon Dr. Eric Heiden is the most well known athlete/surgeon, and NFL Hall of Famer Steve Young is a graduate of BYU Law School.

XBox 360 and the fall of the Third Reich

2007-06-07T10:03:00.000-07:00

If you have an XBox 360 then you'll find this hilarious.

My Sopranos prediction

2007-06-07T09:08:00.000-07:00

My prediction for the end of The Sopranos is the same as it's been all year. I read it in a DVDTalk thread, it sounded reasonable, and nothing that's happened on the show has gone away from this conclusion. There's an element of symmetry with it, but it would be completely unsatisfying. But I'm going to go on the record finally and predict: Janice will shoot Tony in the head. She shot Richie Aprile, Uncle Junior shot Tony, and Tony's mother plotted Tony's death, providing the symmetry. Janice presumably blames Tony for the deaths of Bobby and Richie, and any other problems with relationships.

One of my favorite lines

2007-06-07T08:09:00.001-07:00

From Mark Millar's The Ultimates, Vol. 1. You can click on the pics, then click again to zoom in if you can't read it.

Tastes like chicken

2007-06-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

From WSOC in the Carolinas comes the headline of the day: Royals to Get a Taste of Angels' Colon.

The truly evil empire

2007-06-07T06:18:00.000-07:00

There's a piece in the Washington Post today on the skyrocketing prices of Washington Nationals tickets for the new stadium. In a quote, team president Stan Kasten channels trickle down economics: "It's the money that comes from those upscale customers, from the upscale businesses, that really helps us, that really enables us to keep the low-end ticket prices that we want so desperately as well... So all of those people who asked about the high-end pricing, [those ticket buyers are] getting great service, but they're also providing great service for Joe Fan... We want to make the most money we can. We want to have as many customers there. We want to make the stadium as good as it can be, which costs money. And we want to have the best team we can have, which costs money. And we want to do all of this while also keeping our game affordable."

So if you drop $150 per seat to watch a roster emptied from years of mismanagement and crooked trades from a four year span in which MLB owned the franchise, you're doing some sort of charitable act? What about all the taxes you've paid for the $611 million publicly funded stadium? What about the hike in your cable bill so Comcast can televise Nationals games to line the pockets of Orioles' owner Peter Angelos, in a deal that reeks of monopolistic business practices and demands an examination of MLB's antitrust exemption?

The jingoistic press coverage led by Thomas Boswell is absolutely disgusting. There is absolutely no reason to believe the Nationals are anywhere near reaching mediocrity. Let alone competing with marquee teams on any significant level. But never mind the product on the field. This is a team that was owned by Major League Baseball for the majority of the time they've been in DC. How can any personnel move be not questioned in terms of how it positively affected other teams, each of which were owned by part owners of the Nationals? Like when Jim Bowden sold Jamey Carroll to the Rockies for a nominal sum.

The Post won't criticize the Nats because if they pull back the curtain the Nats could pull their numerous advertising from the Post's media channels and make it harder for their reporters to cover MLB. Since the Orioles are looking after the well being of the Nats - the better the ratings are for MASN, which televises most Nats games, the better it is for the Orioles' owner Peter Angelos - a slap at the Nats is a slap at the O's. So Comcast Sports can't criticize the Nats, because maybe Angelos takes the Orioles off of Comcast when the current TV deal expires. So every media outlet becomes a partner with the Nationals, promoting an unlikeable product, just like NBA employee Michael Wilbon sells the NBA today on page E1.

Boyz n the Hills

2007-06-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

Cuba Gooding, Jr. was picking up takeout for his family over Memorial Day weekend when a 20 something with a gunshot wound walked toward him and collapsed. Gooding hailed a police car and waited for an ambulance. I can't help but thinking of the great scene in Boyz n the Hood that I won't ruin for anyone, but everyone who has seen it knows what I'm talking about.

Kudos to Gooding for lending a hand, now hopefully he can get a script that doesn't suck. He had a nice run after with Jerry Maguire with As Good as it Gets, What Dreams May Come, and A Murder of Crows, but since then it's been brutal. Pearl Harbor, Rat Race, Snow Dogs, Boat Trip, Radio, this guy deserves some karma. It may arrive in the form of American Gangster, scheduled to open 11/2/2007. Directed by Ridley Scott and starring Gooding, Denzel Washington, and Russell Crowe, (as well as my man the RZA) Denzel plays a crime lord who smuggles drugs in coffins of soldiers returning from Vietnam. In August, Gooding will be starring in Daddy Day Camp. Ugh.

Girly Man

2007-06-06T11:59:00.000-07:00

Kevin Durant was the only prospect at the NBA Predraft Camp who couldn't bench press 185 pounds and ranked 78th out of 80 in overall performance, whatever that means. It's noteworthy that the Sonics 2004 1st round pick Robert Swift struggled mightily with the bench press. The Sonics have the 2nd pick and are expected to draft Durant after Portland takes Greg Oden, who was extremely impressive.

I don't want to give the impression that I'm ripping on Durant, I just don't see him as the can't-miss prospect everyone else seems to view him as.

Proof NFL teams are getting more cap savvy

2007-06-06T10:21:00.000-07:00

As has been expected for months, Trent Green was finally traded from the Chiefs to the Dolphins yesterday in a move eerily similar to the Steve McNair trade from last year, consummated almost exactly a year to the day. (McNair was dealt 6/7/2006, Trent Green 6/5/2007) The Chiefs (inexplicably) want to make way for 2006 3rd round pick Brodie Croyle; the Titans wanted to make way for 2006 3rd overall pick Vince Young. The Chiefs received a 2008 5th round pick that could upgrade to a 4th; the Titans received a 2007 4th round pick. The only difference is that the Dolphins will jettison Daunte Culpepper to make room while the Ravens had no backup QB in place at the time of the trade.

Both the Titans and Chiefs surprisingly held out for a slightly higher pick before finally accepting the trades, despite the fact that Green and McNair had debilitating base salaries. In the nascent days of the salary cap, players had years in their contracts with giant base salaries with the understanding that their contract would be renegotiated or they would be made a free agent at that point - an enormous base salary was a way to ensure that they wouldn't be given the franchise tag. (Like Stephen Davis's last deal with the Redskins) The Titans and Chiefs were able to absorb these players salaries and get a mid-round draft pick out of it.

In the future, agents will likely request February or March roster bonuses to force some action by the team early in free agency. Culpepper will likely hit free agency in the next few weeks with no starting job and few backup jobs available. If Culpepper, who acts as his own agent, had a March roster bonus in his contract he would have been able to explore free agency before the money and roster spots dried up.

On the flip side, the Arizona Cardinals are as inept as ever, although they are spending money. Traditionally among the lowest team salaries in the NFL, Arizona actually had to clear cap room in order to sign their rookies, cutting Kendrick Clancy and Milford Brown (both starters last season who figured to be backups this season) yesterday. The reason Arizona was up against the cap was because they are loathe to give large signing bonuses, preferring to give larger base salaries.

So that's where Bolivian is

2007-06-06T06:49:00.000-07:00

About two months ago Richard Gere kissed Silpa Shetty, one of the bigger movie stars of India, onstage at an AIDS rally sparking protests and controversy. India, you ain't seen nothing yet. Former "Baddest Man Alive" Mike Tyson has been speaking with Bollywood producer Firoz Nadiadwala about appearing in a movie. Apparently he's been promoting Nadiadwala's Fool N Final, (mildly amusing video) which will probably feature people spontaneously breaking into some incredibly repetitive song and dance if it's anything like any other Bollywood movie.

O.G. Thurman keeps the Bengals in the (prison) spotlight

2007-06-05T10:24:00.000-07:00

Bengals linebacker Odell Thurman is accused of kicking the shit out of some guy, coming back with his posse with guns drawn, and trying to pay him off later. The picture is reportedly a picture of the result of getting kicked in the face by an NFL linebacker (thanks to the up-and-coming blog With Leather).

Thurman was just sentenced to six days in rehab and two years probation Friday. That was for a DUI conviction where he was driving teammate Reggie McNeil's car and Chris Henry was throwing up out the back window. Thurman has to be released for this, but of course he has to be reinstated by the NFL first. He was suspended the first four games of last season, and that suspension was extended after the DUI. Of couse, getting cut by the Bengals because of off-the-field problems is like getting kicked out of Guns N' Roses for partying too much.

Do these stripes make me look fat?

2007-06-05T08:21:00.000-07:00

Prada jailsuit? No, but those wacky people at Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum had a little fun with the heiress. Did anyone feel pity for her while Sarah Silverman savaged her at the MTV Movie Awards? I didn't. And there's a license plate stamping game over at gsn.com.

Even Bonds thinks he's an asshole

2007-06-05T06:35:00.000-07:00

Gary Sheffield told GQ that he blames the lack of African Americans in MLB on "being able to tell [them] what to do."

"Where I'm from, you can't control us. You might get a guy to do it that way for a while because he wants to benefit, but in the end, he is going to go back to being who he is. And that's a person that you're going to talk to with respect, you're going to talk to like a man. These are the things my race demands. So, if you're equally good as this Latin player, guess who's going to get sent home? I know a lot of players that are home now can outplay a lot of these guys."

Sheffield, a solid talent who's worn out his welcome in Milwaukee, San Diego, Florida, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and New York (he had 30 HRs/100 RBI in every stop but San Diego but every team can't wait to get rid of him) and has burned bridges for each of those teams, has got to get some blowback for this. He's flat out saying Hispanics don't demand respect.

But this isn't the first stupid thing Sheffield has said. Here's a list compiled by SI of memorable Sheffield quotes. Sheffield is also an admitted steroids user (although he claimed he didn't know he was taking steroids) who somehow was not lumped with the other rumored users that he lived with (Barry Bonds) and played with (Jason Giambi). He's hit 266 HRs in 9 seasons since turning 30 and has managed to stay healthy; he hit 202 HRs in 11 mostly injury-filled seasons prior. People are lining up to criticize Kobe Bryant for wanting to win and somehow there's always another city whose fans and press are ready to welcome Sheffield with open arms.

In this corner, weighing two and a half tons...

2007-06-05T06:11:00.000-07:00

Here's the first official clip of Transformers, featuring a fight between Optimus Prime and Bonecrusher.

Tank Johnson gets 8 games

2007-06-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

Roger Goodell today announced Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson will be suspended the first 8 games of this coming season as punishment of his incarceration for gun charges. This is more noteworthy than the Pacman suspension because while no one has ever had a rap sheet like Pacman, many NFL players have incidents similar to Johnson's: 60 days in jail for parole violation. Jamal Lewis received four months for using a cell phone to set up a drug deal before he was an NFL player and was suspended 2 games; I suspect he would be suspended 8 games under the new policy. If/when the fit hits the shan in the Michael Vick case he will likely get a longer suspension, I'm predicting a full season.

It's like an aphrodisiac for droids

2007-06-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

This Star Wars prototype action figure is on eBay for over $3,200 right now. Or you can get "Dork" tattooed on your forehead for around $20.

ARod meets EEECup

2007-06-04T11:45:00.000-07:00

I'm a little torn about the whole ARod strip club story. On one hand, I don't really care what athletes do in their free time as long as nobody's well being is being put at risk. On the other hand, I do love boobies. On that note, here are some NOT SAFE FOR WORK (NSFW) photos of the girl ARod was escorting on the cover of the NY Post last week. Thanks to thebiglead.com, which notes that they're not 100% certain it's the same girl.

He makes John Clayton look like Brad Pitt

2007-06-04T11:01:00.000-07:00

Some of you may have caught ESPN's Outside the Lines excellent episode focusing on Michael Vick's connections to the dog fighting community. They pretty much buried Michael Vick with footage and testimony establishing Vick as a whale in dog fighting. The one dissenting voice was from Len Pasquarelli, an ESPN NFL reporters who is getting more and more airtime putting him above pretty much every NFL reporter at the worldwide leader except for John Clayton and Chris Mortenson.

You see, Len Pasquarelli is based out of Atlanta, and his number one source of information is Michael Vick's agent Joel Segal. Many of his columns sound like he is stumping for agents; in his latest column he complains about the length of rookie deals and basically has an ad for Mike Vanderjagt. He frequently has columns were the only quotes are from a player's agent, expressing the player's difficulty in deciding where to sign because he has so many suitors (like this piece on the still unsigned Chris Brown) or where he expresses disbelief at a lack of suitors (nearly 30,000 hits when searching for jeff george len pasquarelli).

So take any report you read or hear from this guy with a grain of salt, because he is vested in your opinion. You may read his tip sheet, call Doc Walker and ask "Hey, how about that Vanderjagt!" Maybe Dan Snyder hears that, and the next thing you know Vanderjagt is the fifth highest paid kicker in the NFL. Nothing would please Pasquarelli more.

Flip flopper

2007-06-04T08:27:00.000-07:00

Here's the paradox with elite coaches on the professional level: the more you have to pay a guy to leave his job, the more he liked that job. And when he's getting paid a lot more for the same position, on some level cognitive dissonance takes over: "If I need this much money to leave X place for Y, I must have enjoyed coaching at X much more than I'll enjoy coaching at Y." And this is reflected in their work.

Teams are usually better served giving a rising assistant his first coaching gig or someone hungry and available (basically, someone who would feel indebted to the organization for the opportunity) than throwing a ton of money at someone who's has success elsewhere. Look at Nate McMillan: win percentage of 0.537 in his first gig at Seattle where he starred, 0.323 at Portland where he took the money and ran. Or Mike Holmgren: 0.670 at Green Bay, 0.563 at Seattle against lesser competition. Jon Gruden: 0.583 at Oakland, 0.488 at Tampa Bay. The comparisons are even more stark when looking at guys who lept from college to the pros like Rick Pitino (0.814 at Kentucky, 0.411 with the Celtics) and Steve Spurrier (0.819 at Florida, 0.375 with the Redskins).

The Magic should run away from Billy Donovan while they have a chance, before he rereconsiders. He's already longing for Florida; the first time the Magic lose 3 in a row he'll mention it to the press and lose the locker room. They'd be better off with a retread who's had some success like Stan Van Gundy or Rick Carlisle.

Maybe he got it from Lindsay Lohan

2007-06-04T07:42:00.000-07:00

Roger Clemens will miss today's start with a fatigued groin. This is the same injury that caused Justin Timberlake to postpone his last video shoot.

Bringing sexy back

2007-06-04T07:16:00.000-07:00

This past Saturday the local frequenters of cheapassgamer.com met up at Dave & Busters in Rockville to discuss sales and video games. The record for most females at a CAG meetup was shattered with two, truly a Beamonesque jump from the previous record, which was zero. This shouldn't be a huge surprise if you can make out the absolute chick magnet of a shirt I have on in the middle.

The hot rumor in sales news is that the remaining CompUSAs in the area will become Microcenters. One commonly heard phrase was "I haven't played my PS3 in ___," but most were happy with their PS3 as a Blu Ray player. Actually, I might have been the only one their without a PS3 (keep in mind I have pretty much every other system on the market).

The perfect disguise?

2007-06-04T07:00:00.000-07:00

Let's say there was a superhero that fought crime and looked exactly like Lindsay Lohan, except that her hair was slightly different in some way. You would still expect anyone but Lohan was their secret identity, right? I can never figure out how Lois Lane can't figure out that Clark Kent is Superman, but if Clark acted like Lindsay Lohan it would be easy to accept. Every time Lex Luthor had something planned, Clark could say he was going to rehab, and people would say "Oh, that Clark! Can't he stay sober for five minutes?" Even a criminal genius like Luthor could be sitting on the can with an Us Weekly and Superman right in front of him and would say "No. Too absurd."

My pick: Cleveland in 6

2007-06-04T06:00:00.000-07:00

All year as Dallas and Phoenix cruised to the top two records in the NBA it was expected that the Western Conference Finals between those two teams, or possibly Dallas and San Antonio, would be the real NBA Finals. Dallas got a miserable first round matchup, Suns coaches couldn't keep their guys seated in the waning moments of game 5 of the second round, and the rest is history. The Spurs were rewarded with a matchup with a mediocre Jazz team in the second round. Cleveland won the second seed in the East on the last day of the regular season, getting a matchup with an undermanned 7th seeded Wizards team in the first round, an old 6th seeded Nets team in the second, and a physical 1st seeded Pistons team in third.

The Spurs beat the Jazz in 5, their only loss coming by 26, their second loss of the playoffs by 20 or more points. The Cavs beat the Pistons in 6, but they could have won every game in the series. The Pistons play a similar style to the Spurs, as they finished as the top two teams in the regular season in points allowed. The Spurs have played three straight up-tempo teams, while Cleveland plays a much more deliberate style - Golden State and Phoenix averaged 15 and 13 more points in the playoffs than Cleveland, respectively. Cleveland is 2nd (to Utah) in the NBA Playoffs in rebound differential, while San Antonio is getting outrebounded in the playoffs.

Manu Ginobili has played his best ball of the season hte last two rounds, but how about a little love for Z, AKA Cleveland Cavaliers center Zydrunas Ilgauskas? Listening to favorite slurpers Stephen A. Smith and Charles Barkley you'd think that Lebron James was playing 1-on-5 in the playoffs. Ilgauskas would start for any team in the NBA, due to the lack of quality 7-footers. You can't say that about any of the non-Duncan Spurs; Tony Parker probably wouldn't start for the Suns or Nets. With Larry Hughes and the emerging Daniel Gibson in the backcourt, and Ilgauskas and Hare Krishna look-alike Drew Gooden in the frontcourt, Cleveland shouldn't have to apologize to the Spurs for the five they'll have on the floor.

I see second chance points by the Cavs frontcourt being key. Hughes and James will limit Ginobili to one big game in the Finals, while Gibson contributes two big games. Bruce Bowen will be rendered a nonfactor just as Tayshaun Prince was in the Eastern Conference Finals. And while Tim Duncan is still a star, Lebron James is a superstar and raises his team's level of play to a championship level. Cleveland in six.

Told you that bitch crazy

2007-06-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

I was watching Batman (1989) at lunch, and Alfred reveals Batman's secret identity to Kim Basinger by showing her the Batcave. You know Kim Basinger would release footage on Youtube of him half-dressed as soon as she got pissed at him for coming in at 7 AM and waking her from her valium induced semi-coma. That bitch can't be trusted with that! I don't care how long he's been in the family, that's a fireable offense! And this is yet another reason Batman Begins is the superior film. You know Katie Holmes can keep a secret; she's kept the Tom Cruise is gay thing under wraps.

Tasteless

2007-06-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

The Onion printed a gruesome picture under the headline Bill Belichick Finding New and Interesting Ways to Cut Players. That is just way, way past the line of good taste. I mean, Marquise Hill swam his girlfriend to a buoy, probably saving her life at the cost of his own. I'm not trying to say he's a hero, but it's not like he died drunk and high by crashing into a parked tow truck and then his first of kin sued everyone he could.

The ultimate paradox

2007-06-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

Almost everyone I know hates country music, but almost everyone I know loves Johnny Cash.

Recommendations

2007-06-01T10:19:00.000-07:00

The best deals I've seen so far at the Deepdiscount sale are the Office Collection (complete British version) for under $25 and any version of Planet Earth (DVD, HD DVD, or Blu Ray).

I'm considering various seasons of Cheers for $16 a piece and Thundercats for $20 a piece.

One man band

2007-06-01T08:09:00.000-07:00

As I've said over the last 2+ years, the two best players in the NBA are Kobe Bryant and Lebron James. Just because Lebron scored a ridiculous 29 out of the last 30 points by Cleveland last night doesn't mean he's all of sudden leapfrogged anyone in the pecking order, just like Tim Duncan dominating Carlos Boozer shouldn't affect anyone's ranking of them. But now analysts will point only to the fact that Lebron is on fire as the rationale for Cleveland having a real shot against San Antonio if they win this series, as opposed to the fact that the Cavs went 2-0 against the Spurs this year. Just like the analysts completely dismissed the Cavs chances just because Donyell Marshall can't knock down a wide open 3 to win game 1 (you go for the win on the road, does no one know that) and the refs blew a call at the end of game 2.

I had no problem with calling with Marv Albert calling Lebron's performance Jordanesque, 29 out of 30 is the very definition of Jordanesque. But one of the great performances ever? 48 in a double OT game isn't that impressive on the surface, but I suppose when you take into account the quality of the defense that does add to it. But I have to admit, it was a damn good game.

A true Samaritan

2007-06-01T06:32:00.000-07:00

Boomerbadger529 and IamJacksScreenName are making custom covers upon request for Madden 2008 on Gamings Most Wanted. It seems like a huge percentage are for Ravens and Redskins covers. I think I may have to rock the Ed Reed.

The DVD sale

2007-06-01T05:54:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, right before I got off work, a huge number of DVDs at Deepdiscount.com were spontaneously discounted 90%. So while the Ultimate Superman Collection 10 disc set was supposed to cost $72.80, it was showing up as $7.28. I placed 8 orders in about 3 minutes. 4 of those orders shipped. Many online retailers don't honor obvious misprices. Deepdiscount is not one of those companies.

In the online community of DVD collectors, a community to which I am very much a part of, Deepdiscount.com (formerly Deepdiscountdvd.com) is reknowned as the premier DVD retailer and has been as far back as I can remember, since the nascent wild west days of the internet when no-minimum coupons were an everyday occurrence and just about anything could be bought for merely the cost of shipping. Deepdiscount follows the sale prices of Circuit City, Best Buy, and Amazon and typically lowers their prices on all DVDs to stay below their competitors. So since they don't charge tax or for shipping, they tend to have the cheapest prices for DVDs.

Starting in winter 2003, they starting offering twice annual 20% sales. These sales are like Woodstock to DVD collectors. They offer a number of coupons, each of with are usable once per account. If you have any DVDs you need to buy, buy them in the next 2 weeks from Deepdiscount.com.

Per Deep Discount Dave on DVDTalk:
Hello DVDTalkers!

The dates of the DeepDiscount.com 20% Off Summer Sale are June 1 - June 17!

As always, the faithful at DVDTalk get early notice of the promotion and the discount codes are now active!

The 20% coupon excludes preorders, but applies to all DVDs, HDDVDs, Blu-Rays, UMDs, Posters, Storage Accessories and the new Puzzles and Board Games cateogries.

Your discount will show in your shopping cart and on your order history screen as a total promotional discount amount and will not be reflected on the line item basis.

The 20% coupons do not apply to Books, CDs, Electronics or Video Games.

However, we have discounted nearly 150,000 books and 15,000 CDs an additional 20% off for this sale. Those titles are marked with a "Mega Sale" logo and the price shown on the site is the discounted price--no coupon is necessary to get the discount on the titles marked with a "Mega Sale" logo. All of these titles will appear on the site on June 1 and there will be rooms for you to sort through the Book and CD titles on sale.

We hope that you enjoy and thank you very much for your business!

Use coupon code: DVDTALK

Dave

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You DO NOT one up the NFL

2007-05-31T12:52:00.000-07:00

According to PFT, a memo was recently circulated "advising (NFL) teams that there shall be no alcohol on team planes, in team facilities, or in team locker rooms." This is clearly in response to similar actions in MLB, and the NFL wanted to get on the good PR bandwagon.

Funniest Mormon alive?

2007-05-31T10:51:00.000-07:00

I found this on Sportsnet.ca, I've been privately ripping on the Jazz fans but this is a Hall of Fame caliber sign. Someone should tell this kid that it's the 14 year old girls that get married, not the boys. But seriously, has anyone spotted a single minority at the Jazz games?

A headline even better than the NY Post one!

2007-05-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

Kudos to those crazy Canadians! Unfortunately I just renamed my fantasy team "Yankee Doodle Randy," and I'm not ready to rename it again.

Doomed to repeat it?

2007-05-31T07:22:00.000-07:00

Bill Hambrecht is looking for a few good billionaires. His goal: to start a football league, the UFL, to rival the NFL. They would put teams in major markets that lack an NFL franchise such as Los Angeles, Las Vegas, San Antonio, and Mexico City. (The NFL currently has teams in 29 of the top 50 television markets in the United States) They would play games on Fridays; the NFL doesn't play on Fridays because of the arrangement they have with southern Congress people as part of their antitrust exemption. High school football is traditionally played on Friday nights. But here's the kicker: they plan to play in the fall.

The USFL, WFL, and XFL have all gone against the NFL and failed. The WFL and XFL both started out very strong but lacked staying power once the curiosity wore off. The USFL gained a foothold but then made the mistake of taking on the NFL head-to-head by moving their games from the spring to the fall and going after their antitrust exemption. The gamble failed; no network would risk offending the NFL by televising USFL games so the league became radioactive. The moral: football hasn't yet reached its saturation point in the United States, just focus on the NFL's offseason and don't rely on gimmicks.

Some interviews with my favorite author

2007-05-31T06:42:00.000-07:00

Here's Frank Miller talking about Will Eisner's The Spirit, which he is writing and directing. And here he is talking about the making of 300. (Could Miller have been referring to the saga of Pausanias for a 300 sequel?)

Great teams do not equal great games

2007-05-31T05:44:00.000-07:00

If one were to listen to the team ESPN has doing pregame for the NBA Playoffs, you committing a crime if you miss a second of its riveting drama. A lot of sentences begin with the phrase "You're missing one of the great..." as if to guilt you into watching more. They say you're missing one of the great players in Tim Duncan. Now he is a great player, or at least he was. He finished 19th in the league in scoring this year and 7th in rebounding (Antawn Jamison finished 20th and 12th). And the Spurs are a great team, or at least they were. This year they finished with the third best record in the league, and were aided by Dallas's first round upset and Phoenix's controversial suspension.

But the games stink. The Dallas-Golden State series was good, but it was a first round matchup and Golden State wasn't going any further. Game 1 of San Antonio-Phoenix was good, mostly because Steve Nash was bleeding like a stuck pig. But there hasn't been any great games that matter. For that matter, how many great games that matter have their been in the NBA Playoffs in recent years? Game 4 of L.A.-Sacramento in 2002 when a loose ball rolls to Robert Horry and he nails a 3 with triple zeros showing was truly a great game. Game 5 of L.A.-San Antonio in 2004 when Derek Fisher hit the game winner, the ball inbounded to him with 0.4 left on the clock, was a great game. Those are the only two great games between potential title winning teams since Michael Jordan retired from the Bulls.

Over that time, the Broncos-Packers, Rams-Titans, Patriots-Rams, and Patriots-Panthers Super Bowls, the tuck rule game, and last year's AFC Championship Game were all great games. And, of course, the NFL has considerably fewer playoff games because the NBA has 7 game series. The NFL has parity, the NBA doesn't. When only 2 or 3 teams have any chance of winning, if one matches up well against the other, there aren't going to be any great, meaningful, memorable games that year. Because Dallas was knocked out early and the shenanigans of the San Antonio-Phoenix series, there hasn't been a great game between great teams this year. Just like as most years.

Green hair confirmed

2007-05-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

Here's a second picture of the Joker from the summer 2008 masterpiece The Dark Knight. I can provide absolutely zero context. It looks like director Christopher Nolan on the left, so it's probably not actually from the movie. Also noted in the article is that four action sequences from the movie are being shot in IMAX, including "the introduction of Heath Ledger as The Joker." There's also a pic of one of the Joker's henchmen.

I've never actually seen a feature length film at an IMAX theater but for The Dark Knight I'll make an exception.

I can't possibly top the NY Post's headline

2007-05-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

Kornheiser says the New York Post's motto is "We Print in English Occasionally."

The blame game

2007-05-30T11:31:00.000-07:00

A lot of people are hating on Kobe Bryant for demanding a trade, because he pressured the Lakers to trade Shaquille O'Neal before he would resign, but is it his fault they got so little in return for him? Lamar Odom, Caron Butler, and the horrible contract of Brian Grant in exchange for the dominant player in the NBA? Pat Riley admitted that he would have included Dwyane Wade if it was a deal breaker, but Lakers GM Mitch Kupchak didn't press the issue, possibly in order to get a deal done before free agency started. The Lakers of course traded Butler for Kwame Brown, since they had three players (Kobe, Odom, and Butler) to play two positions (small forward and shooting guard).

The Dallas Mavericks had been the front-runner to trade for Shaq, but the Lakers insisted on Dirk Nowitzki in return. Dallas reportedly was willing to part with All Stars Antawn Jamison and Josh Howard, but the Lakers preferred getting an inferior package to Shaq staying in the West. Or they could have not traded Shaq and dared Kobe to follow through on his threat to sign with the crosstown Clippers. Anything other than the course of action they followed would be better than what they're looking at: a nucleus of Odom, Brown, Andrew Bynum, and whatever they get for Kobe.

Comparing Lost to Planet of the Apes

2007-05-30T11:16:00.000-07:00

EW had a great column today finding some amazing similarites between Lost and the Planet of the Apes movies.

My empire of dirt

2007-05-30T05:51:00.000-07:00

I chuckle sometimes when I hear shows described as the "Best Show on TV." 24, The Closer, The Sopranos, various reality shows. That is because nothing can possibly touch the greatness that is The Shield. I started watching it with the premier of season two and at no point has it taken a step back in quality. Two episodes last season were spent setting up the relationship between the main character and Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, but the payoff was worth it. In some shows (like The Sopranos, Deadwood, and Lost) months are spent building up to a confrontation that never happens. That would never happen in the world of The Shield, because the characters could never let their anger simmer for anything more than a day.

To summarize the plot of The Shield, there is a dilapidated police station in the Farmington district of L.A. The characters get deeper and deeper into some dirty shit while fighting gang warfare, serial killers, and other crimes. The cops that were dirty to start the show get dirtier and dirtier, and the ones that weren't are dragged down by the dirty cops. It works because every storyline feels like the natural progression of the characters, and every new character brought in feels necessary to that progression. And it helps that these characters are stars like Whitaker, Glenn Close, Franka Potente (Bourne Identity), Michael Pena (Crash), Sticky Fingaz, Guy Torry (American History X), and Andre Benjamin.

The penultimate episode of the penultimate season (that one's for you, dad) was last night, dropping two absolute stunners in the last three minutes to promise a bloodbath in the season finale next week. And I know they will deliver; no one's going to die of natural causes or in a car accident, no one is going to skip town, and no ridiculous deus ex machina event is going to take place. So when The Sopranos ends with a whimper in two weeks, I won't be able to help comparing it to next week's The Shield and I imagine that it will be a one-sided comparison.

I call it damn fine television

2007-05-29T12:07:00.000-07:00

If you want to know why he's crying...

Hokie in the pokey

2007-05-29T10:32:00.000-07:00

If anyone is curious why I haven't been running constant Vick updates, I'd like to point out that I ran with the story way back on April 26th, before the NFL draft. One of the benefits to having a blog is I don't have to wait for a second source - if it passes my smell test, it's good enough for me. Now ESPN Outside the Lines has a source that says Vick was a whale in the dog-fighting "industry" since 2000, which is before he was drafted. Now on one hand, that's good news for Vick because he can't be punished for what he did before he was an NFL player. On the other hand, how does he have the time and resources to train dogs, bet large sums of money on them, go to class, and be Big East player of the year at the same time? Perhaps he got paid large sums of money while at Virginia Tech?

Killer Aps

2007-05-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

In honor of Memorial Day, I've compiled a list of the greatest game for each video game console over the last 20 years. Playstation was a tough call between Final Fantasy VII and Castlevania: Symphony of the Night, as was the Playstation 2 with their various sequels.

Nintendo Entertainment System: Super Mario Bros. 3
Sega Master System: Phantasy Star
Sega Genesis: Herzog Zwei
Turbografx-16: Military Madness
Gameboy: Tetris
Atari Lynx: Blue Lightning
Super Nintendo: Final Fantasy III
Sega Saturn: Panzer Dragoon Saga
Sony Playstation: Final Fantasy VII
Nintendo 64: The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Sega Dreamcast: Soul Calibur
Sony Playstation 2: God of War
Microsoft XBox: Halo 2
Nintendo Gamecube: Resident Evil 4
Nintendo DS: Elite Beat Agents
Sony PSP: Tekken: Dark Resurrection
Microsoft XBox 360: Gears of War
Sony Playstation 3: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Nintendo Wii: The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess

Making cents of it all

2007-05-29T06:55:00.000-07:00

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End took in $142 million over the four day weekend, breaking the Memorial Day weekend record set by X-Men: The Last Stand last year ($123 million). Pirates 3 fell short, however, of the $151 million Spider-Man 3 took in last weekend.

I just don't get what decides which of these movies become blockbusters and which don't. X-Men United only took in $86 million opening weekend but is a much better movie than it's sequel. Same with Spider-Man 2 which took in a then Herculean $116 million. The Passion of the Christ grossed $371 million domestic, but United 93 grossed only $31 million. Norbit grossed $95 million domestic; I've got no movie to compare Norbit to and I've never seen it but there's no way it isn't horrendous.

Is it all based on promotion or sex appeal? Do you need to appeal to the 14 year old boy with out of control hormones, or the the 39 year old soccer mom who just wants something that will shut the kids up for two hours? Any commercial for any of the Pirates movies had at least one shot of a monkey covering his eyes, ears, or mouth. Does that guarantee an extra $50 million? Is every shot of Keira Knightley's naval worth $5 million?

It all comes down to how many memorable shots you can stick into a 30 second ad. Home Alone was just an excuse to show a Joe Pesci get nailed by a bucket like 5 times every commercial break. Does anyone read reviews? Or care about the direction or writing? I'm not just pushing artsy movies - The Prestige was my favorite movie of 2006 and it only grossed $53 million. It had Scarlett Johansson, who can match up to Knightley. It had Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale, who should be at least equal to Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. And I found the preview for it riveting, with narration by Michael Caine and some startling images. But it just didn't click for audiences.

It was a relief, however, to see my next two favorite movies of 2006, The Departed and Borat, each take in about $130 million domestic despite both being rated R. So maybe I shouldn't focus on the top grossers and look at the bigger picture. It's just hard hearing these record breaking numbers about seemingly random movies. Seeing Disney score these giant hits is kind of like seeing Mr. Burns win the giveaway at the Isotopes game.

Coming up small

2007-05-29T06:07:00.000-07:00

With the NBA Playoffs lacking sizzle (or steak) and dozens interested in the Stanley Cup Playoffs, the lead story on Sportscenter Friday and Saturday was the UFC-71 showdown between Chuck Liddell and Quinton Jackson. Former Fear Factor host and current UFC commentator Joe Rogan debated a boxing expert about the future outlooks of their respective sports before the first commercial break. Chuck Liddell was on the cover of the current issues of ESPN The (awkwardly large) Magazine and Sports Illustrated. He was a guest star on a recent episode of Entourage. The message was the UFC has arrived, and that MMA, or mixed martial arts, had passed boxing (and of course hockey), especially in the eyes of teens and twenty-somethings.

But, as is so often the case in boxing, the fight failed to come close to delivering. Jackson knocked out Liddell under two minutes in, forcing the ref to stop the fight. I've been trying all weekend to come up with a major sports parallel scenario and the best I could come up with is if Michigan State/Indiana State would have been a boring rout with Magic and Bird coming up small, but at least the game still would have been 40 minutes long. And then you could change the channel, because you wouldn't have spent $50 for the right to see it. But that's the problem with having MMA and boxing on pay per view: if you have a dud of a match thousands of people are turned off of paying to see a potential stinker again.

Reboot

2007-05-29T05:41:00.000-07:00

As you probably noticed I've added some features to my blog. Besides changing the colors to more of a football theme, I've added a ton of links and info to the left column.

At the top, I've added a "widget" for Rotoworld.com. It's like a miniature web page; you can scroll up or down and do a search of Rotoworld.
Under that, I've added an RSS feed for Slickdeals.net. Everytime a new deal makes their frontpage, it show up there. If you ever see something you want there, buy it, because t's never been cheaper. These are not ads.
Then there is a list of the bargain sites that I frequent. Slickdeals has all kinds of bargains, Cheapassgamer is for video games, and DVDTalk is of course for DVDs.
There is a list of sports links I use, including Adam Schefter's (my favorite NFL reporter) archive, the sports sections for the local newspapers, and the place where I get the cartoons.
There's a list of blogs I go to, some famous, some are written by my friends. If anyone links my blog to theirs, I'll happily link their blog to mine.
Finally, there's a list of stores I endorse. I'm trying to get the hang of affiliate links - I think I get a portion of the sale if anyone buys anything through that link. Right now, it's just Deepdiscount.com, but that's a fantastic place to get DVDs, CDs, or books, and shipping is always free (but sometimes takes about two weeks).

Ocean's 350000

2007-05-25T10:30:00.000-07:00

A-list star George Clooney auctioned off a kiss for $350,000 in the name of AIDS research recently. I've obtained an exclusive photo of the winner.

To all the doubters

2007-05-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

The consensus response to my Hall of Fame predictions is that Tom Brady could retire tomorrow and be a Hall of Famer despite playing only six full seasons. My response is to point out one player who is shockingly not in the Hall of Fame, one whose career was tragically cut short, the man who holds maybe the most unbreakable record in the NFL with 8 sacks in a single game. I am of course referring to the late Derrick Thomas. He played 11 years in the NFL and would have most likely been in the HOF by now had he played a few more years.

Terrell Davis player a mere four full seasons, so it's harder to predict his HOF candidacy. There are surprisingly few Pro Football Hall of Fame caliber players whose careers were cut short by injury. Gale Sayers is the classic example, who had an explosive seven season career, four and a half of which he played full time. Lynn Swann played nine years. Steve Young started in more than half of his team's games in eleven seasons, and he played in a relatively small number of games when compared to his Hall of Fame contemporaries. Tom Brady has played in roughly half as many games as Young. I'm not saying he won't be a Hall of Famer, but he needs another two or three seasons upright.

I confess - he did it!

2007-05-24T12:53:00.000-07:00

The father of recently deceased Cardinals pitcher John Hancock is suing the restaurant at which he got drunk, his waitress at said restaurant, the company whose tow truck he hit, and, wait for it, the driver that tow truck was helping. Why didn't he sue the Cardinals for paying him a major league salary to support his drinking and drug habit? How about the MLBPA for not having a drug and alcohol policy like the NFLPA? Personally, I blame Canada.

I didn't forget about the recently retired

2007-05-24T12:12:00.000-07:00

There are some noteworthy players who have officially retired this offseason that I failed to include:
Marshall Faulk: Mortal lock first ballot Hall of Famer.
Will Shields: Probable Hall of Famer.
Tiki Barber: Just misses the Hall of Fame, 2 more productive seasons might have clinched it.
Keyshawn Johnson: nice career, but what little speed he had left him early on.
Drew Bledsoe: also a nice career, but Hall of Famers don't get pushed to the bench by J.P. Losman and Tony Romo (Tom Brady is acceptable).
Jake Plummer: HA!
Bob Whitfield: Props for a nice career.

What about coaches?
Bill Parcells: He turned around horrible teams repeatedly, bigger than Giuliani in New York, lock Hall of Famer.
Bill Cowher: 13th all time in wins, 1 Super Bowl, I don't see it. If he's a Hall of Famer, Mike Holmgren could retire today and be a Hall of Famer, and Holmgren doesn't quite have a HOF resume. Cowher could of course return to coaching after a year off, though.

And contributors to the game
Paul Tagliabue: Believe it or not, he's not a lock because some of the voters reportedly have a bad history with him, extremely likely, though.

It don't stand for Hooked On Fonics

2007-05-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

In honor of Keyshawn Johnson retiring, who is nowhere near a Hall of Famer, here is a list of current NFLers with a chance of making the Hall of Fame. It's possible I forgot somebody, but for the most part, if they're not on the list they have no realistic shot.

Here are the players who could retire tomorrow and feel pretty good about their chances for the Hall of Fame
QB: Brett Favre, Peyton Manning
RB: Curtis Martin
WR: Marvin Harrison
TE: Tony Gonzalez
OL: Larry Allen, Jonathan Ogden
DL: Michael Strahan
LB: Derrick Brooks (off-field works clinch it), Ray Lewis, Junior Seau

These guys are on pace if they play a few more years
QB: Tom Brady (he's only played 6 full years)
RB: LaDainian Tomlinson
WR: Torry Holt
DL: Simeon Rice, Warren Sapp
LB: Brian Urlacher
CB: Champ Bailey
S: Rodney Harrison
K: Adam Vinatieri

These guys are on track, but they need to stay productive and injury/off-field issue free
QB: Donovan McNabb
RB: Shaun Alexander
WR: Randy Moss
TE: Antonio Gates
DL: Shawne Merriman, Julius Peppers, Jason Taylor (needs about 30 or so sacks)
S: Ed Reed

And these guys are probably on the outside looking in
QB: Vinny Testeverde
RB: Corey Dillon (hardest to leave out), Priest Holmes, Edgerrin James, Fred Taylor
OL: Walter Jones, Orlando Pace, Jon Runyan
WR: Isaac Bruce, Terrell Owens, Rod Smith, Hines Ward
DL: Kevin Carter, Jevon Kearse (maybe he can come back from all the injuries but I doubt it), Willie McGinest
LB: Tedi Bruschi, Zach Thomas (2nd hardest to leave out)
CB: Ronde Barber, Ty Law, Charles Woodson
S: Brian Dawkins, Darren Sharper

The one true art form

2007-05-23T12:50:00.000-07:00

Apple pie originated in merry old England. Hot dogs, or frankfurters, are named after their birthplace - Frankfurt, Germany. Baseball is a bastardized version of cricket. The founder of Chevrolet, Louis Chevrolet, was Swiss. Jazz has African roots, and I'm not a big fan of jazz. But comic books began in the United States, and superheroes are distinctly American. Superman is our Hercules, Batman our Sherlock Holmes, Stan Lee our Homer. The feature length film also proliferated in the states, as the expiration of the patent on Edison's kinetograph was the unofficial birth of Hollywood. Although the first feature film is actually Australian, racist American D.W. Griffith turned it into an art form. To me, the comic book movie is the ultimate American art form. So even as gas approaches $4 a gallon, every other country in the world views Bush as an argument against a free democracy, everything on network TV is either a reality show or gets cancelled after 3 episodes, horse racing pregame trumps the Stanley Cup semis, baseball players peak at 40, NBA players can knee a guy in the groin as long as they stay perfectly still on the bench, and the Bengals have a hotline to report disorderly fans with multiple felons on the team, at least the comic book movie is stronger than ever!

Because YOU demanded it!

2007-05-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Here's a very early 2007 NBA Mock Draft

1. Portland Trailblazers - Greg Oden C Ohio State
2. Seattle Supersonics - Kevin Durant PF Texas
3. Atlantta Hawks - Brandon Wright PF UNC
4. Memphis Grizzlies - Yi Jialian PF China
5. Boston Celtics - Al Horford PF Florida
6. Milwaukee Bucks - Jeff Green SF Georgetown
7. Minnesota Timberwolves - Roy Hibbert C Georgetown
8. Charlotte Bobcats - Corey Brewer SF Florida
9. Chicago Bulls - Julian Wright SF Kansas
10. Sacramento Kings - Joakim Noah PF Florida
11. Atlanta Hawks - Mike Conley, Jr. PG Ohio State
12. Phladelphia 76ers - Al Thornton PF Florida State
13. New Orleans Hornets - Thaddeus Young SF Georgia Tech
14. L.A. Clippers - Acie Law IV PG Texas A & M
15. Detroit Pistons - Spencer Hawes C Washington
16. Washington Wizards - Tiago Splitter PF Brazil
17. New Jersey Nets - Nick Young SG USC
18. Golden State Warriors - Jason Smith PF Colorado State
19. L.A. Lakers - Javaris Crittenton PG Georgia Tech
20. Miami Heat - Josh McRoberts PF Duke
21. Philadelphia 76ers - Sean Williams PF Boston College
22. Charlotte Bobcats - Ante Tomic C Croatia
23. New York Knicks - Brandon Rush SG Kansas
24. Phoenix Suns - Marco Belinelli SG Italy
25. Utah Jazz - Derrick Byars SF Vanderbilt
26. Houston Rockets - Daequan Cook SG Ohio State
27. Detroit Pistons - Devon Hardin C California
28. San Antonio Spurs - Rodney Stuckey SG Eastern Washington
29. Phoenix Suns - Rudy Fernandez SG Spain
30. Philadelphia 76ers - Gabe Pruitt PG USC

Out of control

2007-05-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

Since the Super Bowl, there have been 25 arrests of NFL players and personnel in 107 days.

Congratulations universe. You win.

2007-05-23T05:48:00.000-07:00

The draft lottery wrapped up last night as my girlfriend and I finished making dinner, and a funny thing happened: I suggested we watch Jeopardy instead of game 2 of the Western Conference Finals. My girlfriend is a Jeopardy fan, and I often accept watching it during dinner a) to gain equity so that I can watch sports during dinner at a later date, b) at least I'm watching something during dinner, and c) to get it off the Tivo. But despite the fact that the Western Conference Finals were on, which basketball fans have been looking forward to all year, the NBA Playoffs have become so utterly unwatchable that I would rather watch a show that makes me feel like a dumbass.

Utah is the only team remaining in the playoffs that averaged 100 points during the regular season. The Western Conference Finals, Eastern Conference Finals, and NBA Finals are all foregone conclusions. The games in the west are decided early and over late, and the east might as well be the minor leagues. But even if Detroit and San Antonio goes 7 games, the basketball is going set the NBA back a decade. Those teams ranked 2nd and 1st, respectively, in the NBA in points allowed during the regular season; 80 points will good enough to win most of those games. Not exactly fantastic.

Best draft ever?

2007-05-22T10:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight the joke of an event that is the NBA Draft Lottery will be televised, as fans of teams either mired in mediocrity or that actually made a concerted effort to be among the leagues worst will be subjected to 45 minutes of filler before most likely turning off the TV crushed that their team managed to move down in the draft because, inevitably, some team defies odds and gets their combination of ping pong balls selected.

On the bright side, this is, on paper, the deepest draft in league history. Because of the minimum age requirement that was enacted last year, the players who would have been elite prospects last year declared this year, along with, obviously, everyone who would have been eligible this year. So it's essentially a double-draft-class.

Here are my top prospects

1) Greg Oden C Ohio State
Compares favorably to: David Robinson
Compares unfavorably to: Hakeem Olajuwon
One of the all-time great prospects, a sure-fire perennial All Star.

2) Kevin Durant SF Texas
Compares favorably to: Dirk Nowitzki
Compares unfavorably to: Kevin Garnett
Fresh off one of the dominant freshman seasons, the only concerns are his ability to add muscle and distribute.

3) Brandon Wright PF UNC
Compares favorably to: Chris Bosh
Compares unfavorably to: Tim Duncan
Fantastic size and athleticism, hasn't been super productive at UNC but many Tarheels have been more productive in the pros.

4) Roy Hibbert C Georgetown
Compares favorably to: Rik Smits
Compares unfavorably to: Arvydas Sabonis
At 7'2", 280 lb, you can't pass on him unless you're sure you're getting an All Star.

5) Yi Jianlian PF China
I haven't seen enough tape on this guy but he's a 7 footer with a decent frame.

6) Al Horford PF Florida
Compares favorably to: Carlos Boozer
Compares unfavorably to: Elton Brand
Runs the floor well and plays great facing the basket but needs to add a post up game.

7) Corey Brewer PG Florida
Compares favorably to: Stacey Augmon
Compares unfavorably to: Anfernee Hardaway
His defense and range put him just a tad ahead of Green, needs to add a little more bulk.

8) Jeff Green SF Georgetown
Compares favorably to: Lamar Odom
Compares unfavorably to: Grant Hill
Very polished, can play everywhere but center, may never be a great outside shooter.

9) Joakim Noah C Florida
Compares favorably to: Tyson Chandler
Compares unfavorably to: Marcus Camby
Would have been the #1 pick last year, but is probably a better prospect for staying.

10) Julian Wright SF Kansas
Compares favorably to: Corey Maggette
Compares unfavorably to: Michael Finley
Much better passer than my comparisons, think versatile version of Maggette.

11) Mike Conley, Jr. PG Ohio State
Compares favorably to: Tony Parker
Compares unfavorably to: Allen Iverson
A lot of people like him more than me, no real weakness in his game but size and experience.

The evolution of the Joker

2007-05-22T06:36:00.002-07:00

The Joker's first appearance (1940)

Brian Bolland, from The Killing Joke (1988)

Jack Nicholson, from Batman (1989)

Dave McKean, from Arkham Asylum (1989)

Heath Ledger, from The Dark Knight

John Wayne Gacy

I'M A JOKER I'M A BROKEBACK SMOKER

2007-05-21T11:13:00.001-07:00

This is off a Warner Bros. site. Very different from what I was expecting, I don't know how I feel about it. The Joker isn't a traditional villian, he's a psychokiller, and that is certainly the image they're going for. Am I going to be disappointed if he doesn't fall into a vat of chemicals to explain his face; if it's just makeup? Yes, but not as disappointed as I'd be if he were a laughing fool as opposed to a sadist.

The accompanying text "I always say, you never know what a man is truly made of until you peel the skin off his face one piece at a time."

Exclusive footage at Vick's mansion

2007-05-21T10:49:00.001-07:00

As I continue to put myself in harm's way to bring you exclusive footage, here is a pretty damning video for the Falcons QB.

A tale of 2 commissioners

2007-05-21T08:45:00.000-07:00

The biggest story in the NBA for the last week has been the suspensions of Phoenix Suns forwards Amare Stoudamire and Boris Diaw for standing and moving a combined 25 feet or so off the bench and then immediately retreating. This was in response to Spurs reserve forward Robert Horry hip checking 2 time MVP Steve Nash into the scorers' table with an obvious cheap shot. This was not an isolated incident in the series: Spurs starter Bruce Bowen kneed Nash in the crotch and tried to kick out Stoudamire's Achilles earlier in the series. With 2 of their top 4 forwards suspended for pivotal game 5, the Suns ran out of gas after leading for 45 out of 48 minutes and went on to lose game 6 and the series. Commissioner David Stern is being criticized for rewarding the Spurs for dirty play.

The biggest story in the NFL right now is the pending suspensions to Bears DT Tank Johnson and Falcons QB Michael Vick for gun charges and running a dog fighting ring, respectively. Johnson recently completing 60 days in a minimum security prison for violating his probation. Commissioner Roger Goodell is being lauded for giving suspensions to NFL players who are running afoul of the law.

So in what should be the NBA's showcase series, the NBA loses fans and draws criticism. And in what should be the teeth of the NFL's offseason, the NFL gains some measure of positive press despite a Super Bowl starter getting jail time and a star quarterback being involved in disgusting acts. David Stern should take notes.

Pitching's been gory? Time to axe Torre.

2007-05-21T07:03:00.000-07:00

In eleven full years with Joe Torre as their manager, the New York Yankees have won 4 World Series, 10 division titles, been to 6 World Series, and been to the playoffs every year. But this year, a week before Memorial Day, the Yankees are 10.5 games out of first place, 7.5 games out of the Wild Card, with once again the highest payroll in professional sports. Despite their bullpen being on pace to pitch a record number of innings, they are also last in the league in strikeouts. They have only 3 saves as a team (all by Mariano Rivera), less than half as many as the team with the second fewest. This is indicative of a team that loses games late, and teams that lose games late are often outmanaged. Maybe it's time for a new manager.

The Yankees have become a team that sits around and waits for a 3 run homer. Then again, that's always been their M.O. Just like they've always brought in Mariano Rivera in the 8th or 9th when things got hairy, except when they had him as a setup man for John Wetteland in 1996. Now that Rivera is a shadow of his former self with an ERA of 6.75, Torre has to actually manage his bullpen and play the matchup game - not his strength.

Jason Giambi credits hitting coach Don Mattingly with snapping him out of his slump surrounding his semi-steroid-apology part 1, and maybe he could inject some life into the team (although the cynic might say he injected something else into Giambi). Torre apologists can complain about the starting pitching, but on paper the Yankees have an elite starting staff. With Clemens coming back, a change at the top would have the added benefit of taking some of the spotlight off of what could become a circus. It's time for a change.

This one is real

2007-05-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm also starting to believe in The Transformers.

Patriots Day

2007-05-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

On this date 41 years ago arguably the opi of both the greatest American band and the greatest American songwriter was released in the form of Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys and Blonde on Blonde by Bob Dylan, respectively. Huzzah, Brian Wilson. Huzzah, Robert Zimmerman.

Prima Donovan and Lord Favre

2007-05-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

The Eagles drafted a quarterback with their top pick drawing the ire of Donovan McNabb and his whole Chunky Soup spooning family. The Packers drafted a defensive tackle in the first round, failed to trade for Randy Moss, and have to deal with the rumor that Brett Favre has demanded a trade (Brett Favre and the Packers issued a press release denying this). In my effort to bring you the latest in NFL news, I apparently overlooked the point when Donovan McNabb and Brett Favre were named general managers of their respective teams. If these guys, or any quarterbacks for that matter, were calling the shots, their teams would draft receivers or offensive lineman every year. This is yet another drawback to having a franchise quarterback, along with their enormous salaries (Favre has an $11 million base salary this year, and were he actually traded whatever team the got him would want to pay him about half that).

Last season Ray Lewis made similar demands of the Ravens, imploring them to draft a defensive tackle, then implying that he wanted to be traded (with similar salary restrictions as Favre) but the Ravens didn't have to issue a press release to put out the fire; since it was defensive player it was a story reported in the second half hour of Sportscenter and the story was forgotten after a week. Guard Alan Faneca's dissatisfaction about his contract hasn't even made it to Sportscenter, and he's a better guard than anyone not named Peyton or Tom is a quarterback. These stories with McNabb and Favre keep gaining momentum and will probably be huge distractions for their teams. Coincidentally, both of those teams traded their star receiver after their quarterbacks spoke out against them; Favre criticized Javon Walker for holding out, McNabb and Terrell Owens engaged in very public sniping.

Last year, Drew Brees, Steve McNair, and Daunte Culpepper were available, veteran quarterbacks. This year, Trent Green, Culpepper, and possibly Favre are available. The myth that you can't find a good quarterback via free agency or without giving up multiple first day picks should have been dispelled by now, but apparently it hasn't been. Everyone that drafts a quarterback in the first round is lauded, and everyone who passes on one is criticized. You give me someone who can rush the passer or keep him upright.

The Golden Age

2007-05-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

When I woke up Saturday morning I turned on my spiffy HDTV, which was tuned to TNT, as it was the night before to watch the NBA Playoffs. Batman Forever was just starting, featuring an all star cast including Nicole Kidman, Jim Carrey, Tommy Lee Jones, Val Kilmer, and Chris O'Donnell (who is thisclose to being relegated to a career of nothing but Lifetime movies). About 20 minutes in, it dawned on me that this was the worst movie I'd seen since Stealth. I was shocked how bad it was. I mean, during action sequences it was like I was watching the Ice Capades. In the last 5 years we've witnessed, arguably, the 7 greatest comic book movies of all time: Blade II, Spider-Man, X-Men 2, Spider-Man 2, Sin City, Batman Begins, and V for Vendetta (listed chronologically).

Why the sudden shift from the nonsensical kiddie flicks to the hyperkinetic (sometimes ultra) mature films? I could come up with two explanations:

Studio execs and screenwriters that in positions of power now grew up reading the more mature comics that came along in the late 70s and 80s: Swamp Thing, Green Arrow, Dark Knight Returns, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and Sandman. Alan Moore is the man most responsible for this change in the comic landscape, and it's fitting that V for Vendetta, one of his first works, has been adapted to film, although without Moore's involvement. Nor was he involved in From Hell or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, which bastardized his work. Unbreakable by M. Night Shyamalan, in particular, was heavily influenced by The Watchmen. Robert Rodriguez was already familiar with Frank Miller's Sin City before he started filming it.
The evolution of filming fight scenes, largely due to the runaway success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and The Matrix. Thanks to the groundbreaking work of martial arts choreographer Woo-ping Yuen, whose work also includes Kill Bill Volumes 1 & 2, Fist of Legend, Iron Monkey, Drunken Master 1 & 2, Once Upon a Time in China I & II, Kung Fu Hustle, and Fearless, among others (each one is fantastic, but Fist of Legend is particularly great). Fight scenes in movies like Die Hard and the James Bond movie were extremely deliberate; bad guy kicks good guy, good guy grabs his leg, good guy pauses to flex, good guy tosses bad guy by the leg. And those were the good fight scenes! The fight scenes of the last decade tend to be more fluid and brutal. You can see the influence in all the movies mentioned, the Star Wars prequels, Equilibrium, Serenity, the Underworld movies, the Tomb Raider movies, and the Resident Evil movies.

It's hard out here for a pimp, or a linebacker

2007-05-11T06:03:00.000-07:00

Former Steelers linebacker Richard Seigler was arrested for running a prostitution operation in Las Vegas. Earlier that day he was cut by the Steelers when word got out about the charges. Earlier in the offseason, then-Steeler Joey Porter and the Bengals' Levi Brown (also in the AFC North) got into a fistfight in Las Vegas; I can't help but wonder if there was any connection.

So is this like a reverse Hustle & Flow? Like, was Seigler an NFL player who parlayed that into a pimping empire, or was his bottom bitch holding the tackling sled as he whooped that trick? And where does his 40-time rank among pimps? Like was he the star of the pimp combine - did he pimp slap a ho from midfield on one knee? And I thought prostitution was legal in Vegas. This should be no different than one of the thousands of used car lots owned by former players around the country. Maybe a little too similar: "What will it take for me to get you in this vagina?"