Dog rolls over on Vick

Joseph "The leg humper" Escobar was indicted yesterday for peeing on a hydrant and will reportedly give testimony against Michael Vick. Apparently Vick offered him a chance to participate in dog fighting to clear some of his massive debts incurred gambling and from his massive drug habit.

As Escobar was getting dragged away from the hydrant in a choke chain he could be heard barking "Bitch set me up!" When pressed for comment, Vick apologist Len Pasquarelli said "A dog communicating verbally that Michael Vick participated in the dog fights is the only way I could be convinced that Vick had any idea that dog fighting was going on at his property, so I guess you got me."

Evidence found exonerating Vick!

Here Michael Vick is playing poker with some dogs that clearly are in no shape to fight. Vick isn't even calling out the bulldog for keeping an ace up his paw. The collie is being called as a character witness, although I don't know if that's a good idea because it looks like Vick took all his money.

Shawskank Redemption

Prison guards thought they had found a 50 foot tunnel to freedom in Paris Hilton's cell. It turns out that was just her vagina.

Paris back to jail, the long nightmare is over